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The Evolution and Cultural Impact of McDonald's Products

This is an informative essay about McDonald's. The author delves into the history of creation of the restaurant, the history of creation of products, and discusses a product that they think would be a good addition to the menu.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Jenn's feedback:

"You have done a great job providing a number of details about the history of McDonald's and citing them properly within a neatly formatted essay. To clarify the goal of your paper, make sure to write a detailed introduction with a thesis statement. For the most part, the goal of your essay is clear because the information presented in the body aligns with your title, but there is some confusion when you introduce the paragraph about creating a new product. This confusion would be eliminated if you discuss this in an introduction. The goal of the essay could also be reiterated in a conclusion. When discussing the history of McDonald's, almost all your paper is about the restaurant, but you did include a couple of sentences about the Ronald McDonald House. This seems out of place because you wrote so little about it and it doesn't clearly relate to the rest of the content. Consider removing the this information or writing more about it. You mentioned that your essay should be written with Chicago style conventions, but many of the conventions are missing. Also, there are a number of punctuation and word choice errors throughout the essay, such as lacking a comma after introductory phrases. Make sure that you have your paper go through a round of proofreading to resolve these issues."

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