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The Evolution of Marilyn Manson as a Performer and Pop Provocateur

This introduction to Marilyn Manson, both the performer of that name and the band, gives a survey of the act's history from their early days as Marilyn Manson & the Spooky Kids up through the end of the 1990s. The student notes the influence of Trent Reznor's production and Manson's involvement with Anton LaVey as the band's brand evolved.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

musicians
Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"The purpose of this writeup is a bit hard to determine. On the surface, this is a beat-by-beat of the singer's career, but certain sentences allude to a deeper look: "The first signs of..." suggests an analysis of Manson's stage persona, touched on again in the final sentence of the second-to-last paragraph, as well as some suggestions of critical analysis of the albums themselves. It is in these moments that the essay looks to transcend a standard biography, so to bring this writing to the next level, I suggest expanding on those analytical moments to help establish a thesis or idea to pursue across the paragraphs.

In terms of lower-order concerns, frequent minor errors ultimately disrupt the reading experience. Make sure to justify all diction choices from a rhetorical point of view (e.g., "tabloid TV shit" -- possibly a quotation?; "Trent" -- in eliding the last name, what are your audience expectations?)."

Learn more about this feedback