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Word Count: 469
There were very few things that brought whole families together The only real occasions were weddings and funerals Then some brillian mind unsatisfied with this arrangement invented the family reunion The family reunion brings your entire family together for no reason At family reunions you will reminisce you will laugh you will cry you will discover your family tree has more branches than you ever thought possible while Grandpa fishes his dentures out of the punch bowl In order to fully understand the horror of the family reunion you must first understand the mechanics of your average American family Dysfunction is to be expected normalcy in a family has become abnormal Within an extended family there may be further extended family accumulated through second marriages step-children are always a joy especially before potty training or missing members due to a divorce Once family politics have been hashed out transportation becomes an issue Unless there are family members who live far away there is not point in having a reunion There would be no one to reunite There are two widely available modes of transportation cars and planes Travelling by car is more affordable but rides more than three hours long can become detrimental to your health Imagine being trapped on a highway in the rain with whiny children in the back seat and a significant other who had eaten sausage for breakfast Planes are the way to go for long trips Skip the mortgage for a month what are they going to do take the house While on the subject of significant others I should point out that the family reunion while it may consist of some hot co-eds youve never seen before is a really bad place to go looking for dates Bringing your own supply of food is a good idea The section of family hosting the extravaganza will be obliged to feed everyone If they are fortunate enough
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