The Importance of Breakfast in Increasing the Cognitive Ability and Academic Performance of Children
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"The overall organization of your essay makes sense, and you make plenty of valid points regarding why breakfast has been found to be important for academic achievement. It is also notable that you discuss some of the potential flaws associated with the various studies you reviewed. However, your content would be easier to understand if you included more in-text citations or direct references to the authors of a given study. At the moment, your language can be quite vague; it's not always apparent which study or studies you're referring to when you say "the study" or "some studies." A thorough edit is needed to recast sentences for clarity. There are a number of sentences that are grammatically correct but difficult to parse nonetheless. Meanwhile, awkward phrases such as "studies involving these studies" would also benefit from revision. For APA style, parenthetical citations should feature an ampersand instead of the word "and." An ampersand should appear in a citation for a work with three or more authors as well. A comma should also be inserted between the author names and the year of publication."
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