The Importance of the Role of Non-Commissioned Officers (NCOs) Within the U.S. Army

Natalie's feedback:

"It seems as though Non-Commissioned Officers have a lot to take on! While you have a great deal of knowledge about the nature of NCOs (you appear to be one yourself, if I am understanding correctly), your presentation of this knowledge is a bit disjointed. I was not quite sure what the true focus of this essay was intended to be, as it seemed to shift between information on the role of an NCO, information on Army Values in general, and an argument for the importance of NCOs. These are all great topics, but I highly recommend you choose one and stick with it. With all of the information you presented, it almost felt as though you only scratched the surface of several topics, rather than diving deep into any one of them. Because of the shifting back and forth between topics, the essay began to feel repetitive at times. Your introduction was also a little basic, but a personal anecdote about how being an NCO yourself or interacting with NCOs has impacted you would go a long way in engaging the reader. Your conclusion was good, but without an established focus for the paper, I wasn’t sure what to ultimately draw from it. Additionally, transitions between paragraphs were abrupt; don’t be afraid to utilize transitionary words and phrases! There were also several conventional errors and inconsistencies that sometimes made it hard to understand what you were trying to say, so be sure to proofread carefully. It can be easy to miss little mistakes! Besides that, you did a great job of adhering to APA 7 formatting standards. I did notice a quote that exceeded 40 words towards the end of page 3/the beginning of page 4, which will need to be re-formatted as a block quote. You clearly have a good grasp on the information, you just need to edit some and you will be on your way to having a great essay!"

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