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F. Scott Fitzgerald's Critique of Covetousness in The Great Gatsby

This analytical essay on The Great Gatsby examines the novel through the lens of "the pursuit of happiness" as proof of the compromised nature of the American Dream. The student focuses on F. Scott Fitzgerald's warning that happiness should not be equated with having what everyone else has.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"This essay really shows your engagement and interest in the novel's characters and pathos. Your examples build on your thematic focus, guiding the progress of the discussion.

One area to work on as you move forward will be in the summary/analysis balance. Right now, there is a lot of summary and plot detail that ultimately overwhelms the analytical points. Specify detail when a claim needs more specific support from the text; think of these as nudges or reminders for the reader so they can follow the discussion. Streamlining and tightening up how events from the novel are described will also help with this.

Your first direct quote (para. 3) is incorporated smoothly into the discussion. Later quotes, however, tend to be presented on their own. Work with those areas to create more movement and flow into and out of the quotations; doing this helps guide the reader's understanding of how the quote is functioning as evidence and also asserts your control over the material. These tasks should help address the somewhat baggy nature of the current draft.

I also recommend reviewing your conclusion, which presents a few different angles; consider using a reverse outline to see what you have on the page and then checking which of the statements at the end (Gatsby valued love over all else, Gatsby was punished for immoral decisions, Gatsby's main sin was in coveting what he didn't have) best matches the argument currently in the body of the essay. If you find your body paragraphs cover all these ideas, consider how to synthesize these various points into a thesis that also relates back to your opening ideas of the American Dream and happiness."

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