1. Home

The Issues With Children in Beauty Pageants

This is the beginning of a persuasive speech. The topic of the speech is children in beauty pageants. The author discusses how parents dress their children inappropriately, the amount of money that is spent on pageant attendance, children not being able to advocate for themselves, and judges focusing on children's' looks rather than intelligence.
PAGES
2
WORDS
365
  Cite
View Full Essay
About this essay
This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley
Generating Preview...
This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jenn's feedback:

"Your speech is off to a good start. You start by grabbing your audience's attention with a question. If you are needing to turn the text into a teacher there are a significant number of punctuation and capitalization errors throughout it. Also, if the text needs to be turned in, I would add citations to all of the information that you acquired from other sources. You are lacking adequate transition between some of your thoughts and ideas which will lead your audience to feeling lost about the message you are trying to convey. This is most noticeable when you go from talking about eating disorders to talking about the money spent on pageants. There are a significant number of distracting grammatical issues throughout the text which can be resolved through a round of proofreading. "

Learn more about this feedback