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The Life of Thutmose II

This paper is about Thutmose II, the son of Thutmose I and the father of Thutmose III. Thutmose II was a prolific pharaoh in Ancient Egypt. Thutmose II was the fourth pharaoh of Egypt's Eighteenth Dynasty. His wife was Hatshepsut. His body was discovered in the Deir el-Bahri Cache above his wife's mortuary temple and is on display in a museum in Cairo. The author also mentions a rebellion at his coronation.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Jenn's feedback:

"Your writing is off to a good start. You have an excellent handle on the writing conventions. There are no noticeable grammar, punctuation, or sentence structure issues. You mentioned that your paper is supposed to use Harvard writing style conventions, but it does not seem that any conventions are adhered to. You have included a significant amount of factual information to support your points throughout your paper, which is excellent. The main problem I noticed is that you have used a limited amount of citations. Ensure that any information you use from other texts is cited to avoid plagiarism issues. The biggest problem with the writing is the lack of an introduction or a conclusion. Including both of these will communicate the purpose of your paper more clearly and will allow readers to know that you stay focused on that purpose. Including an introduction will also help with the paper's content because the thesis statement will help you develop your ideas."

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