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The Long-term Impact that Operation Varsity Blues Will Have on Education

This is an analytical essay in which the author discusses the recent cheating scandal that was exposed in number of educational institutions. The author deemed it as the biggest bribery scandal in college history, noting that the FBI indicted approximately 50 people and that 44 schools and 178 educators were implicated.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Jenn's feedback:

"You have done a great job selecting a topic and providing facts to support the topic. Having said this, there are no in-text citations. It is important that you cite any information that you use from other texts to avoid plagiarism issues. While your topic of focus is clear while reading through the document, the overall goal of your paper is unclear. This can be resolved in a number of ways. Consider including an introduction that let's the reader know your main argument. It should also end in a thesis statement that guides the body of the paper. Also, end the paper with a conclusion that summarizes all of the main points made in the body of the paper. Another thing is that it is unclear whether this is an opinion piece or a research piece. If you want to discuss preventing cheating scandals from a research perspective you need to eliminate the use of the word "I" and provide suggests that are grounded in previous research. There are a number of formatting errors scattered throughout your paper. Most of these appear as inconsistent spacing but you also need to include an MLA formatted header. Last, there are a number of grammar and punctuation errors in your paper. Make sure that your paper goes through a thorough round of proofreading to resolve these issues."

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