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The Negative Effects of Today's Parenting Style on Children

This analytical essay uses Julie Lythcott-Haims' Ted Talk, "How to Raise Successful Kids--Without Overparenting" to discuss the negative effects of controlling parenting techniques on children's mental and emotional well-being.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jessica's feedback:

"Your passion for this topic really comes through in your paper and you relate your personal experience candidly, with a great deal of feeling. The purpose of the essay does feel a bit unfocused, however; are you critiquing Lythcott-Haims' speech? You begin by relating the content of the speech to your own experience and you spend a great deal of time discussing that, but then you also include discussion on the speaker's techniques. This lack of focus is reflected in some of your paragraphs--you "mix" topics rather than centering each paragraph around one main idea. Your paper needs a round of editing and proofreading to address grammar and punctuation issues. For example, there is the creation of run-on sentences when you've used the word "however." Most of the time, "however" should be preceded by a semicolon and followed by a comma to avoid this. Grammatically, there are some incomplete sentences and some confusion as to pronoun antecedents (who you are referring to with "her," "they," etc.). Of course, be sure to remove extraneous formatting like underlining in a final draft. "

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