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The Negative Effects of Toxic Masculinity and "Boys Will Be Boys"

This is an argumentative essay in which the author argues that the old adage "boys will be boys" is a form of toxic masculinity. The author specifically focuses on Gillette's ad "We Believe: The Best Men Can Be" and society's reactions to it and documents reasons why toxic masculinity is harmful.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Jenn's feedback:

"You have done a great job creating an introduction that informs the reader about what the content of the paper is. You also end the introduction with a clear thesis statement that guides the body of your paper in a logical manner. Even though you are not following a specific style guide, it is important to use consistent spacing throughout the essay so that it has a neat appearance. There are occasional punctuation errors throughout the essay that need to be resolved, most improper use of commas. There are a lot of facts used in your essay, but there are no citations. Any time that you use information obtained from another source it is important to cite it to avoid plagiarism issues. Last, there are a couple of places in the essay where it feels like you repeat the same ideas back to back using the exact same words. Make sure to review the essay and remove any redundancy. The essay seems to be lacking a conclusion, but based on the outline it seems that you may not be done yet. Make sure that you continue to make it clear that you are forming an argument again 'Boys Will Be Boys' and use your conclusion as an opportunity to summarize all of the main points made in the essay."

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