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The Problem with Psychics

This persuasive essay focuses on why there is reason to be skeptical of psychics' abilities. It includes examples of how pop culture promotes an unfounded belief in psychics, who have never provided proof of their abilities. It also explores how psychics view their skeptics.
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This essay received a D by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a D by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Iva's feedback:

"I appreciate how you attempt to introduce both sides of the argument around the validity of ESP. However, the way your essay is organized makes it difficult to follow. Your first paragraph lumps numerous claims together but does not join them together while the only sentence in your second paragraph seems like the first draft of a thesis statement, which should ultimately go at the start of your essay so that it can be defended. I say "first draft of a thesis statement" because starting with an "if" clause will make you sound uncertain and, consequently, hurt the strength of your essay. Following the revision and relocation of your thesis statement, you will also want to break up your first paragraph. In it, you have the ingredients for an introduction (giving background on ESP and how it's seen and ending with your thesis statement), a body paragraph or two supporting your argument that psychics are cons, and a body paragraph on the counter-argument that ultimately ends with you explaining why your argument is stronger. You will also need to write a conclusion that summarizes your main ideas and leaves the reader thinking about the dangers of ESP (or whatever you decide your ultimate message will be). Additionally, to further improve the clarity of your essay, a round of proofreading will be essential. Currently, you only use a handful of periods and separate the rest of your sentences with commas. This makes it hard to follow where one idea ends and another begins and ultimately distracts from your message."

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