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A Discussion on Whether Baseball or Football is the True American Pastime

This is an opinion essay about whether football or baseball is a more popular sport in the United States. The author specifically looks at the professional sports leagues: National Football League (NFL) and Major League Baseball (MLB). The author examined the attendance, television revenue, ticket costs, venues, salaries, entertainment value, and athlete perception of both sports to support their position. Based on data collected and the author's opinion about the two sports and their enjoyment of the Super Bowl, the author concluded that football is the true American pastime.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Jenn's feedback:

"This paper is off to an excellent start. You clearly communicate the purpose of your essay and maintain focus on that purpose throughout the entirety of the paper. You also did a great job of including factual content to support your position. I recommend that you make sure to cite all information that you obtained from sources and have a reference page to avoid plagiarism issues. Also, regarding content, I suggest that you make sure to use scholarly language throughout your paper so that your stance sounds more legitimate. Overall, you did a great job with the organization of your writing. There are some places where transitions between sentences and paragraphs seem abrupt. You can resolve this by adding transition phrases and sentences to create relationships between ideas. In general, your writing is neatly formatted, which is essential for both reading comprehension and the cohesiveness of your writing. Throughout the essay, there is extra space between paragraphs, though. Last, you have a decent handle on grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation. You will resolve most grammar and sentence structure issues if you make sure that the language you use is more scholarly. If you need help with these issues, have someone read through this for you and provide you with specific feedback."

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