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Teen Smoking and the Hazards of Nicotine

This essay discusses the problems of smoking, especially by teenagers.
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4
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1,263
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jim's feedback:

"You open with a quote, but you fail to finish it with a quotation mark. Avoid comma splices, i.e., the use of a comma to link what should be two sentences. You should also avoid informal expressions, such as “a lot” and “nowadays.” I am unsure if you are writing in British or American English. Run a grammar check in the appropriate language to identify and correct problems. Write simple, concise sentences. Read through your work, preferably more than once, and simplify your expressions. You end a paragraph on page 2 with an incomplete sentence (“Due to the fact …”), which lacks a verb acting on a subject. You tend to use a semicolon where a comma is called for, and sometimes you use no punctuation at all, such as, “Individuals who smoke especially teenagers.” While it is good to encourage teens to avoid smoking, a quick Google search indicates that teen smoking rates seem to have decreased in recent years."

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