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The Silk Road Brought More Benefits Than Trade

This essay discusses the importance of the Silk Road. The student argues that, while trade was important, the spread of culture and religion had an even bigger impact on the world.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"You cover a lot of important information in your paper. It is well-written and easy to understand. However, it seems to have some trouble addressing the prompt directly.

You indicate that you disagree with the statement that trade was the most important effect of the Silk Road. Make sure you stay on that topic. Your first supporting paragraph goes into perhaps too much detail about what the Silk Road was and does not address the prompt. The following paragraphs discuss the nuances of trade and its importance. The idea that other factors, such as the spread of religion and culture, are more important is alluded to here and there, but a strong case is not made for it.

You do touch on the idea that trade itself had broader impacts than simple economic gain. The section about the importance of paper is a good example of this. You can use this to show that trade itself, while important, only played a part in giving rise to more important changes.

If you wish to use footnotes instead of standard MLA citation, you don't need to cite the author or work in parentheses within your text; only the superscript number is necessary.

Consider working with an editor to address some awkward phrasing and to shore up your claims and maintain focus."

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