The Social Effects and Health Problems Caused by Technology
More essays like this:
This preview is partially blurred. Sign up to view the complete essay.
More essays like this:
"You start your essay with a strong introduction that lets the reader know the goal of your essay and why the goal is important. You then go on to organize the essay in a logical, cohesive manner, creating smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs and aligning the information with your thesis statement. Starting with the introduction, there are a number of grammar and sentence structure errors that are impacting the readability of some of the essay. There are also a number of noticeable punctuation errors and a formatting error exists in that the essay is two different fonts. You have an immense amount of evidence supporting your points that needs to be cited. Any information that you obtained from another source needs to be cited so that you are crediting the original author and avoid an issue with plagiarism. The presentation of the information in the fourth paragraph is confusing. The introduction suggests that you will only be talking about cell phone use, but in this particular paragraph you name many other technologies. If you want to highlight the detriment of many kinds of technology, this should be introduced in the introduction and consistently talked about in each paragraph of the essay."
Learn more about this feedback
You know how looking at a math problem similar to the one you're stuck on can help you get unstuck? Reading example essays works the same way!
Here are some ways our essay examples library can help you with your assignment:
- Brainstorm a strong, interesting topic
- Learn what works (and what doesn't) from the reader's perspective. What hooks you? What makes you cringe?
- Uncover new sources by reviewing other students' references and bibliographies
- Inspire new perspectives and arguments (or counterarguments) to address in your own essay
Read our Academic Honor Code for more information on how to use (and how not to use) our library.
Essays may be lightly modified for readability or to protect the anonymity of contributors, but we do not edit essay examples prior to publication. (And nope, we don't source our examples from our editing service! Check out our Privacy and Content Sharing policies for more information.)
The essays in our library are intended to serve as content examples to inspire you as you write your own essay. They're not intended to be submitted as your own work, so we don't waste time removing every error. This allows our team to focus on improving the library and adding new essays.
The example essays in Kibin's library were written by real students for real classes. To protect the anonymity of contributors, we've removed their names and personal information from the essays. When citing an essay from our library, you can use "Kibin" as the author.
Kibin does not guarantee the accuracy, timeliness, or completeness of the essays in the library; essay content should not be construed as advice. For more information on choosing credible sources for your paper, check out this blog post.
Did you find something inaccurate, misleading, abusive, or otherwise problematic in this essay example? Let us know! We'll take a look right away.