The Solution to Baylor's Growing Pains: Admit Fewer Students

This problem-solution essay profiles Baylor University's struggles to keep up with its growing student body, presenting challenges to class size and campus housing, with the proposed solution entailing a more rigorous admissions process (admission essays) and lowering the acceptance rate.

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Bridget's feedback:

"This is a well-written essay that shows consistent control over the higher- and lower-order concerns. The discussion is presented and argued cogently and carefully, and each body paragraph is sound in structure and focus, building purposefully toward the conclusion.

I see two major opportunities to bring the argumentation to a more rhetorically and analytically sophisticated place: the first is in including counterarguments to the proposals (both in terms of challenges to your suggestions and competing suggestions) and the second is addressing and outlining the "givens" of your problem/solution framework (e.g., on-campus housing, consistent faculty numbers).

As mentioned above, the writing is mechanically sound and lucid. Some moments will benefit from continued local revision with an emphasis on efficiency and clarity. For example, "painstakingly" as an adverb is a little clunky in the rather long first sentence (consider: "are making the painstaking decision..."); and, instead of "With serious problems like these, ..." later in the paper, consider more succinct edits: e.g., "Such serious problems demand solutions." or "A solution to these serious problems is necessary/urgent/pressing.""

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In-text citation:

(Kibin, 2024)

Reference list entry:

Kibin. (2024). The solution to baylor's growing pains: admit fewer students. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-solution-to-baylors-growing-pains-admit-fewer-students-HWmmdCoq

Be sure to capitalize proper nouns (e.g. Egypt) and titles (e.g. Macbeth) in the essay title portion of your citation.

In-text citation:

("The Solution to Baylor's Growing Pains: Admit Fewer Students.")

Works Cited entry:

"The Solution to Baylor's Growing Pains: Admit Fewer Students." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-solution-to-baylors-growing-pains-admit-fewer-students-HWmmdCoq

Footnote:

1. "The Solution to Baylor's Growing Pains: Admit Fewer Students." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-solution-to-baylors-growing-pains-admit-fewer-students-HWmmdCoq.

Bibliography entry:

"The Solution to Baylor's Growing Pains: Admit Fewer Students." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-solution-to-baylors-growing-pains-admit-fewer-students-HWmmdCoq.