The Spread of Ideas, Religion, and Inventions Along the Silk Road

This DBQ essay addresses the exchange of religion, inventions, and ideas along the Silk Road. The student mentions the spread of Islam to China as well as the ideals that sparked the Commercial Revolution.

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Bob's feedback:

"You have some good examples of ideas that spread along the Silk Road, and you've begun to organize it well. You have a good introduction, but make sure to address awkward sentences. For instance, the first sentence is an "on and on" sentence -- like a run-on, but mostly due to missing commas and overuse of "and". Be mindful of using imprecise, non-specific words and phrases like "stuff," "things," and "a lot." Also, it's best to avoid the second person (you) in an academic paper.

In your paragraph about inventions, the two examples you give are not inventions. Your conclusion mentions that the spread of ideas was both intentional and unintentional, but you don't outline that in your body text. Make sure everything mentioned in your conclusion has already been explained. It would be a good idea to work with an editor to address the flow, transitions, and wording of your essay."

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In-text citation:

(Kibin, 2025)

Reference list entry:

Kibin. (2025). The spread of ideas, religion, and inventions along the silk road. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-spread-of-ideas-religion-and-inventions-along-the-silk-road-zdF1tyK7

Be sure to capitalize proper nouns (e.g. Egypt) and titles (e.g. Macbeth) in the essay title portion of your citation.

In-text citation:

("The Spread of Ideas, Religion, and Inventions Along the Silk Road.")

Works Cited entry:

"The Spread of Ideas, Religion, and Inventions Along the Silk Road." Kibin, 2025, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-spread-of-ideas-religion-and-inventions-along-the-silk-road-zdF1tyK7

Footnote:

1. "The Spread of Ideas, Religion, and Inventions Along the Silk Road." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-spread-of-ideas-religion-and-inventions-along-the-silk-road-zdF1tyK7.

Bibliography entry:

"The Spread of Ideas, Religion, and Inventions Along the Silk Road." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-spread-of-ideas-religion-and-inventions-along-the-silk-road-zdF1tyK7.