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Word Count: 955
One of the few completely clean jokes I know came from the pastor of my church On a recent Sunday morning he told a story about Jesus going to a small restaurant and sitting quietly in a corner after placing a lunch order An Irishman in a wheelchair comes into the restaurant is shown to his table whereupon he recognizes Jesus and asks the waitress to send over a cup of coffee from him Next comes in an Englishman with a pronounced limp who also recognizes Jesus and asks the waitress to send over a cuppa tea from him The third man to enter the restaurant is a redneck who upon recognizing Jesus requests that He be sent a tall icy-cold glass of Coca-Cola Jesus finishes his lunch and all three beverages and upon leaving the restaurant he stops to express his appreciation for the generosity of his benefactors He places his hand on the shoulder of the Irishman who finds himself able to arise from his wheelchair a feat he had not been able to accomplish in years Likewise the Englishman upon receiving Jesus touch on his shoulder finds that his limp is gone and his leg healed When Jesus approaches the redneck however the redneck jumps back and throws up his hands in horror crying out Dont touch me Im on disability You know you might be a redneck claims comedian Jeff Foxworthy if you think Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company He also states you know you might be a redneck if you think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are Gentlemen start your engines Similarly the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing popularly known as NASCAR has been perpetually linked to the redneck mindset through the entertaining notion that the acronym more accurately stands for Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks What exactly is a redneck Twenty-five years or so ago when I was in high school in a
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