The True Path to Success According to Angela Duckworth
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"Your essay is off to a good start. You have presented evidence to support your position in a logical manner allowing for the essay to be easy to read. I would suggest that you include a thesis statement in your introduction. A thesis statement would let the reader know how you are going to use evidence to support your position of agreement. Throughout the body of the essay there are a minor number of grammatical and punctuation errors that can be resolved through a round of proofreading. I would also suggest that you consider rewording your conclusion. While you should summarize the main points you made in the body of the paper you should also not use the exact same wording you used in the introduction. The paragraph that you wrote about Kohn feels out of place with the way that you present the information. Consider further elaborating on the concept that desire and determination are not always keys to success by providing a bit more evidence. A primary concern is a lack of citations within your paper, especially since you have a Works Cited page. Make sure that everywhere that you included a fact from an outside source you properly credit the author so that you avoid issues with plagiarism. "
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