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The Ups and Downs of a High School Student's Life and How God Helped Them Through

This essay is about a high school student's life experiences and how they have either met or not met their expectations. They discuss being the youngest sibling but one of the older cousins. They discussed their time in elementary, middle, and high school. Often, they focus on the retreat experiences. They mention attending Emmaus and being a leader of Lumos. They discussed how COVID negatively impacted their school experience and what it's like to attend a Christian-based school. They also examine how their relationship with God helps them.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jenn's feedback:

"This paper is off to an excellent start and, with just a little time focused on the graded categories, can be significantly improved. The formatting of your writing is fantastic, which is essential because a neatly formatted paper allows readers to have higher reading comprehension, and the text is more cohesive. One of the primary problems with this paper is that it is not clear what the paper's purpose is. You can resolve this by adding a thesis statement to your introduction, which lets readers know what to expect in the body of your paper. Also, to communicate that you stay focused on your purpose, use the conclusion as an opportunity to summarize the main points that you made in the body of the paper. You did a great job with the content of your writing. As a reader, I could relate to many of the feelings and emotions you included. I think a few places could benefit from some elaboration to keep this level of connection going. Last, you need to work on grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation. This paper reads very much like a conversation, and unfortunately, you should write an essay in a more scholarly manner."

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