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The Worst Nightmare I’ve Ever Had

In this piece of creative writing, a student shares the worst nightmare she’s ever had. The student talks about how she becomes an orphan after her family members are killed in a car accident.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"You come through on your stated purpose of telling the reader about the worst nightmare you’ve ever had, and you use many academic vocabulary words correctly in the work. However, your narrative loses its emotional effect at points because of your vocabulary use. Word choice issues include your use of “shunted” and “veered.” There are also misspelled terms such as “jgged” and “thig.” The sentences that begin “As a growing” and “There were some lorries” are especially awkward and should be recast for clarity. Your comma and semicolon use would both benefit from a review. For example, no comma should appear in the phrase “weak, and would.”"

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