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Trials That Have Shaped Me and How I Overcame a Major Setback

In this personal reflection, a student recalls a challenging injury that led to a chronic condition and how that impacted the writer's goals. The writer describes their feelings following the accident and how their condition has ultimately made them stronger.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Erin's feedback:

"I love that you started your essay with such a strong quotation that's not only powerful in its own right, but meaningful to you and the story you're about to share. You tell a powerful, personal story in this essay, and it unfolds smoothly; I particularly loved your conclusion and that you summed up the lessons you've learned so effectively. To make your essay even more impactful, I would recommend proofreading to catch the sentence structure errors -- there are a few comma splices, and some of your quotations could be integrated a little more smoothly. You might also revisit your punctuation. For instance, you use quite a few exclamation points, which are great when you really want to emphasize excitement or a strong emotion, but too many of them can affect your tone and cause your writing to lose a bit of its impact. With just a little polish, though, you're on your way to a really stellar piece of writing."

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