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Word Count: 719
In the Eyes of a Plumber For me this is a world without heroes without hope There seems to be pain and suffering everywhere immorality lurking around every corner corruption pervading in all we hold sacred like the creeping death through the land of Goshen So it logically follows that the man who has taught me the most about life is not from this world At first glance he appears to be your run-of-the-mill video game superhero He wears red overalls has an ostentatious moustache he has a very distasteful job with the sanitation department a plumber and his voice quivers like a 4 year old Italians His name Super Mario The very mention of that name is enough to drive a shaft of terror into the very heart of evil At the same time it can spark a lot of interest among a group of gamers That amount of power can only come from one thing a gargantuan reputation which had to have been earned through his tireless efforts to uphold justice The bravery of Mario is matchless his will fierce yet at the same time his heart is boundless and many a lesson can be gleaned from his example At first he was only represented in two dimensions only a flat image on a pixilated screen The large green and impeccably evil Bowser who bears a resemblance to a giant epileptic turtle kidnapped Marios girlfriend the lovely princess Toadstool in a scheme to gain sovereignty over the Mushroom Kingdom The remarkable plumber immediately rushed to her aid a shining beacon of chivalry to foil the nefarious reptile and banish him back into the nether realm In the final battle Mario used his superior cunning to drop the lizard into a burning vat of lava Maybe he just wanted turtle soup In any case this taught me to respect women at an
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