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Why Trashing the Ocean Hurts Us All

This essay describes the urgent threat of marine pollution, focusing on trash and waste from individuals and the impact of industrial pollution. Citing disregard, carelessness, and ignorance as the culprits, the student recommends raising awareness about plastic use and proper trash disposal.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"You've hit the right note for the essay's rhetorical choices, creating an urgency appropriate for a paper that advocates change. To make sure the energy doesn't get away from you, work a little further with the syntax and writing mechanics to establish control. Make sure you carefully proofread, as well, since minor flubs like typos or dropped words can completely change the meaning of a claim (e.g., "220 pounds of plastic is dumped...from America every single year" seems low).

At the macrolevel, asserting more control over the organization will also help corral the various moving parts, creating a more focused and purposeful presentation that firmly guides the reader through the argument. One thing I noticed was that the first body paragraph overlaps quite a bit with the next two body paragraphs (I am guessing where the paragraphs begin and end in some cases--make sure to go through and tidy up the formatting and indents). A reverse outline will help you spot redundancies and opportunities for more purposeful organization and grouping of ideas."

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