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Whoopi Goldberg Embodies the American Dream

In this research essay, a student explores how Whoopi Goldberg is the embodiment of the American Dream. The student discusses Goldberg's career in the entertainment industry and her medical cannabis business.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Angela's feedback:

"You've crafted a thought-provoking and engaging essay on Whoopi Goldberg, and you do an especially good job of working direct quotes into your own statements. However, note that a specific piece of location information such as a page number should be included in the citation for a direct quote. In addition, while your essay flows in a logical manner from one topic to another, some of your paragraphs are very long, which makes it hard for the reader to properly absorb everything you're presenting. Consider breaking apart your longer paragraphs to give the reader ideal places to pause and reflect on your various points. The standard recommendation is to try to keep paragraphs to three-quarters of a page long (double-spaced) at most. Even though you have a solid command of many writing conventions, you have a tendency to write run-on sentences. Editing should also be done to revisit your comma and semicolon use since there are places where the punctuation marks have been used inappropriately. Finally, there are some issues with word choice as seen with terms such as "vacated" and "oppressive characteristics.""

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