In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2025)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2025). Why animals can learn human languages. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-animals-can-learn-human-languages-xz889I3u
More essays like this:
This preview is partially blurred. Sign up to view the complete essay.
More essays like this:
View other essays like this one:
Crystal's feedback:
"Your topic is really interesting! You've done a good job with establishing your focus and stating your position on whether animals can learn language right in the first paragraph, and each of your body paragraphs is focused on one aspect of your argument to that effect. However, your thesis statement would be stronger if you included the three arguments in it; that way, the reader would know exactly what you're going to argue. In addition, each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence (good job with that!) outlining the main point, but the analysis in the paragraphs could be stronger. For instance, in the first body paragraph, you don't examine/discuss why it's a terrific way for animals to use language. The same is true in the other body paragraphs. Ideally, you want to introduce the information from your sources that supports your argument and then analyze why it supports the argument in more specific detail. Your paragraphs should have a bigger portion of the argument being flushed out rather than focusing so heavily on a series of facts. Throughout your essay, there's also some spots with awkward and/or unclear phrasing (reading your content slowly out loud would help you better identify these spots), verb tense errors (e.g., use past tense when talking about the past), capitalization errors (e.g., Chinese, not chinese), and grammar and punctuation errors (e.g., run-on sentences and comma splices), as well as some spots where you use generalities (many people). With generalities, using more specific phrasing would be ideal. You also do a good job making sure to include a counterargument, but your rebuttal could be stronger; ideally, you want to refute the counterargument with specific facts/reasons for why is wrong. Simply stating it’s wrong doesn’t refute it, ya know? Finally, your conclusion overall does a good job of bringing all the points together and ending with a final takeaway, so great job with that. Overall, then, you’ve handled the essay structure well and have a clear purpose, but the areas I’ve outlined above hurt the strength of the essay overall, especially the light amount of analysis/argument details, some of the awkward/unclear phrasing, and grammar and punctuation errors. A good edit for those things would improve your paper."
Learn more about this feedback
In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2025)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2025). Why animals can learn human languages. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-animals-can-learn-human-languages-xz889I3u
In-text citation:
("Why Animals Can Learn Human Languages.")
Works Cited entry:
"Why Animals Can Learn Human Languages." Kibin, 2025, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-animals-can-learn-human-languages-xz889I3u
Footnote:
1. "Why Animals Can Learn Human Languages." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-animals-can-learn-human-languages-xz889I3u.
Bibliography entry:
"Why Animals Can Learn Human Languages." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-animals-can-learn-human-languages-xz889I3u.
You know how looking at a math problem similar to the one you're stuck on can help you get unstuck? Reading example essays works the same way!
Here are some ways our essay examples library can help you with your assignment:
Read our Academic Honor Code for more information on how to use (and how not to use) our library.
Essays may be lightly modified for readability or to protect the anonymity of contributors, but we do not edit essay examples prior to publication. (And nope, we don't source our examples from our editing service! Check out our Privacy and Content Sharing policies for more information.)
The essays in our library are intended to serve as content examples to inspire you as you write your own essay. They're not intended to be submitted as your own work, so we don't waste time removing every error. This allows our team to focus on improving the library and adding new essays.
The example essays in Kibin's library were written by real students for real classes. To protect the anonymity of contributors, we've removed their names and personal information from the essays. When citing an essay from our library, you can use "Kibin" as the author.
Kibin does not guarantee the accuracy, timeliness, or completeness of the essays in the library; essay content should not be construed as advice. For more information on choosing credible sources for your paper, check out this blog post.
Did you find something inaccurate, misleading, abusive, or otherwise problematic in this essay example? Let us know! We'll take a look right away.