Why California Must Mandate COVID-19 Testing for Frontline Healthcare Workers

Bridget's feedback:

"This is a robustly argued proposal that is impressive on many levels. The use of sources and your clear mastery of the concepts, as well as the enhanced authority from your personal and professional experience and knowledge, is effective on many levels. To help clarify my feedback: I am looking at a document that ends with subsection A2a. I am assuming more is prepared or being prepared, including the specifics of the policy changes and what it must/must not do. (What is "regular" testing, who qualifies as "frontline", what happens after a positive test; also, for example, are you proposing only mandatory testing, or will it have mandated PPE training and mental health resources, both of which you discuss? Again, I would guess these details come in a future section of this proposal.) For the pages here, my main comment is regarding mechanics and organization. Make sure to proofread and edit: mechanical issues don't just impact ethos--they can cause clarity problems for the reader. What you write here is important--you want your reader with you every step of the way! Second, organization: I found some repeated concepts or flow issues within paragraphs. You will want to look at each paragraph and think about efficiency. For example, do you bring up an idea and then return to it a few sentences later? If you do, take a look--maybe you can group those sentences together and even streamline them into one assertive statement. I would also recommend some thinking about broad overall organization. I thought your point in the Intro about prisoners and athletes was a good one. This information might be even more powerful in the very beginning of the paper--try it out as a hook! Related to organization, I noticed, for example, that you financial impact included information both on COVID-19's current impact and the future financial impact of the proposed expanded testing. I wondered if focusing on the current financial impact of not testing in this A section, and then addressing test funding in a later section where the specific proposals are covered, would make more sense. That is, this first section establishes the problem, the stakes, and the urgency, and then you can go over the details of the solutions once you have your reader convinced of the problem. (Again, I am assuming that this section is coming up next.)"

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