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Why Exercise is Essential for Overall Health

This essay argues that the benefits of exercise make overcoming barriers worth the time and effort. The student cites positive impacts on both physical and mental health.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"This essay has a very good sense of focus, smooth transitions within a logically structured organization, and overall sound writing mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation). You've done a good job selecting and integrating credible sources--make sure to include all the citation information required by APA 6, which uses an author-date format. While you're polishing up the APA details, give the references a once-over as well: titles should be in sentence case, and organizations like the CDC can often be considered a corporate author. (APA's archived 6th edition blog has really good resources for corporate authors.) The introduction is efficient and the thesis clear. For a more robust introduction, you may consider telegraphing the barriers and challenges you identify later in the paper. For example, when you write "it's just about finding a focus," you might pair that with a phrase like "though there are many challenges, including X and Y, it's just about..." or "despite some barriers, it's just about finding focus." It doesn't need to be super detailed--the goal is to prep your reader for those later counterarguments. It also starts building ethos by showing your reader you've considered the issue from all angles. As a final comment, I noticed that you do reference COVID-19 in your paragraph on mental health; should some mention of COVID-19 also be integrated into the discussion of barriers at gyms?"

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