Why Feminism Comes From White Privilege and Womanism is Better For Societal Progress

Jenn's feedback:

"Your paper is off to a good start, and with some effort placed on making some changes according to the grading rubric, you will significantly improve it. I will start by saying that your paper is excellently formatted. This is important because a neatly formatted paper enhances reading comprehension and the cohesiveness of the writing.

Usually, when I start talking about a piece, I begin with its organization, but for you, I want to mention the content first. I believe that tone is fundamental. You mentioned that this is an informative paper, suggesting that you would like the reader to walk away having learned something. Unfortunately, you may not reach this goal if you present your information too aggressively or with too much opinion. People do not want to feel judged for their lack of knowledge. Consider rewriting this in a more scholarly manner. Remove pointed questions and euphemisms. Add transition words, phrases, and sentences when moving from one idea to another. When you present facts, make sure that you include in-text citations and end the paper with a reference page.

Then, move on to improving the organization. Include both an introduction and a conclusion. The introduction should give a small amount of background information about the topic you will be discussing. It should also end with a thesis statement that outlines the main points that will be made in the body of the paper and why it is essential to read about those points. The body of the paper should then align with the thesis statement. You will end with a conclusion that summarizes the main points made in the document's body and relates them to the thesis statement. Adding this level of organization will communicate to the reader what your paper's purpose is and show that you maintained focus on that purpose throughout your writing.

Last, good grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure are imperative for clearly communicating a message. Overall, I think your paper is off to an excellent start and has great potential. If you find that you need help with any of the ideas I presented, or you would like more specific feedback, feel free to submit the paper to our editing service."

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