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Why I Am Applying for an Applied Mathematics Major (AMATH)

This admissions statement (for an applied mathematics major) traces the student's math narrative, starting from middle school, to explain the student's interest in applied mathematics.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"You are off to a good start here. You've got your ideas on the page, the overall structure is viable, and your writing is dynamic and personal thanks to sentence variety and good flow. I would recommend proofreading to catch minor errors--especially on admissions essays, even small mistakes can really impact ethos. My main recommendations are about organization and argumentation. The order of the paragraphs feels a little unsettled at the moment--in particular, the paragraph about the conventional (convolutional?) neural networks article (3rd paragraph) and the CSE 142 paragraph (final paragraph). They contain good, specific details that are important to your AMATH narrative, but those two don't feel like they are quite part of the overall argument yet. Take a look and think about how to incorporate those two points into the rest of the statement. This might be achieved by moving those discussions elsewhere--into another paragraph, even, or switching up the order--or using more explicit transitional and signposting language so your reader can understand why those details are being brought up at those moments."

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