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Why I'm Passionate about Becoming a Pharmacist

This personal statement highlights how the student's passion for pharmacology first emerged and then developed over time, the student's experiences throughout high school and college that helped reinforce that passion along the way, and what about the field the student is attracted to.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Crystal's feedback:

"You’ve done a good job in some spots with articulating your passion for the pharmacy field, and I like that you talk about how your family expected you to be a doctor but you eventually fell in love with pharmacology. However, you spend A LOT of space detailing that and your high school years. Ideally, since you’re applying for a doctorate degree, high school experiences should play a much smaller role in the narrative--at most maybe appearing in one sentence or two. In the body paragraphs, you do highlight some key things that draw you to the field, but you don’t discuss how the degree relates to your immediate and long-term goals other than that it would allow you to be a pharmacist. Focusing in on your goals and how the program will allow you to reach them (through detailed information that is unique to the program) would be ideal. Within those elements, you could then draw in your personal, educational, and professional background to illustrate how those experiences have prepared you (what growth did you experience within them, for instance) for the future you envision, especially if you can keep it highly focused on you and you hope to specifically get out of the program (with details that are unique to the program). Content aside, most of your writing mechanics were in pretty good shape, but make sure to watch pronoun/antecedent agreements and to do a good read-through to address any awkward phrasing (which does pop up in a few spots)."

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