In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2025)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2025). Why men are more likely to commit violent crime. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-men-are-more-likely-to-commit-violent-crime-gP3cZTgD
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Bridget's feedback:
"Your purpose and main arguments are clear in this draft, and the reader starts to get a good idea of your research in finding the sources that contribute to the claims. Because the tone of the paper is a little wobbly, spend some time smoothing out the diction and phrasing for consistency; likely you will be aiming for an academic tone, which precludes elevated or sensationalized phrasing as used in the first sentence of the second paragraph. There are other occasional choices that impact ethos and logos (e.g., the rhetorical question on the second page asking "Do you really want to live in a world...?"). Those and other areas can end up standing in for tighter argumentation, so consider shoring up those moments with evidence that allows you to trim away the pathos-based appeals that can shift the paper out of the academic or objective mode. Other areas to target in strengthening ethos and persuasiveness will include incorporating source information via in-text citations, proofreading for both clarity and ethos (e.g., comma splices), and grouping personal commentary (first person discussion) in one place (perhaps in the conclusion, when the authorial ethos and voice have been cemented for the reader)."
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In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2025)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2025). Why men are more likely to commit violent crime. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-men-are-more-likely-to-commit-violent-crime-gP3cZTgD
In-text citation:
("Why Men Are More Likely to Commit Violent Crime.")
Works Cited entry:
"Why Men Are More Likely to Commit Violent Crime." Kibin, 2025, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-men-are-more-likely-to-commit-violent-crime-gP3cZTgD
Footnote:
1. "Why Men Are More Likely to Commit Violent Crime." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-men-are-more-likely-to-commit-violent-crime-gP3cZTgD.
Bibliography entry:
"Why Men Are More Likely to Commit Violent Crime." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-men-are-more-likely-to-commit-violent-crime-gP3cZTgD.
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