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Why Ned Kelly is a Villain, Not a Hero

In this argumentative essay, the student takes the stance that Australian outlaw Ned Kelly is a villain rather than a hero. The essay provides an overview of the Kelly Gang's crimes.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"You have a dynamic and confident writing style. The flow and movement from one idea to the next is efficient and smooth. To strengthen the readability, however, you will want to proofread! There were a number of errors, including punctuation and word choice, that disrupted the reading experience. You need to also make sure to cite direct quotations, as well as any paraphrased sources.

I have two main suggestions to get this paper to the next level in terms of argumentation. The first will be to take a look at how you organize the paper. The overall organizational scheme of the body paragraphs is not clear--do you want to present Kelly's life chronologically? Thematically? (Right now, it is a mix of both.) I want to challenge you to think about not just how to organize your paper, but why you would choose a certain structure. For example, a paper arguing for heroism might proceed chronologically to make some point about how someone becomes a criminal due to circumstance, whereas a paper like yours might want to organize the paper according to the types of crime (robbery, murder) to build up to a more powerful effect of the terror he caused.

My second suggestion is about the counterargument. I was glad to see more about the "hero" side at the end, but I would suggest doing this from the introduction so that the reader can follow (and be persuaded by) how and why each point of your argument is successfully responding to the "hero" stance."

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