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Why the Democratic Republic of Congo Is a Partially Failed State

In this research essay, a student considers how the situation in the eastern section of the Democratic Republic of Congo compares to the rest of the country. The student cites the colonial legacy, the Cold War legacy, the authoritarian rule legacy, and rebellion as the reasons for the country being a partially failed state.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Angela's feedback:

"You pack a lot of information about the Democratic Republic of Congo into your essay, and you do address all the different reasons for the partially failed state that your prompt noted you should discuss. However, your essay would be stronger if you provided a clear ranking for each of these reasons (again, as your prompt says you're supposed to do). In addition to supplying a clear ranking in your thesis statement, it would make sense to organize your body paragraphs so that they address these reasons in order of the ranking that you've provided. Then within each of these body paragraphs, you could discuss how the eastern section of the country has been impacted in a different manner from the rest of the country. A final edit is recommended to recast run-on sentences and fix typos such as your use of "boarders" instead of "borders." There are also some issues with awkward word choice, as seen with the use of "deplete.""

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