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Why the Negative Effects of Social Media Outweigh the Positives

In this argumentative essay, the student presents some pros and cons of social media and argues that the negative effects of such platforms outweigh the positives.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"Beginning a paper with a definition, especially one that is generally understood, makes for a weak opening. Consider waiting until you've outlined what you'll discuss in the paper before introducing definitions. Make sure to stay on topic in each paragraph. For instance, in your first supporting paragraph, you discuss both mental health campaigns and cyberbullying, two issues that are not directly related and should each have their own paragraph. Likewise, in the paragraph discussing social media's role in combatting social injustice, you make a counterpoint about privacy issues. These subjects are not directly related or antithetical to one another; they are simply pros and cons of the larger issue. Consider reorganizing the essay to first present some advantages of social media, then address the disadvantages and make your argument as to why these have more of an impact."

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