In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2023)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2023). Why wrestler tamyra mensah-stock is my hero. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-wrestler-tamyra-mensah-stock-is-my-hero-xLaVuKlH
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Bridget's feedback:
"You are off to a good start, with your main points and arguments on the page and a solid collection of sources. Your writing is clear, with good flow; a careful proofread should catch some errors (such as the incomplete sentence in the first paragraph "Which paid off...").
I have three main recommendations. The first is to work on organization. The body paragraphs currently zigzag around a bit. For example, the first body paragraph discusses how Mensah-Stock got into wrestling through her sister; the third paragraph describes this again. This can be confusing for the reader, so make sure to group all of the same points into a single paragraph. A reverse outline can really help with this. Second, I suggest expanding on the claim in the third sentence of your conclusion about why you have chosen to write about Mensah-Stock. You clearly list her life experiences, but it's hard for the reader to understand any deeper connection without learning a little about you as well. Finally, I notice that the sources listed in your works cited are not actually cited in the essay. Using MLA's parenthetical in-text citations, show your reader how your research backs up your claims, including when summarizing or paraphrasing."
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In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2023)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2023). Why wrestler tamyra mensah-stock is my hero. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-wrestler-tamyra-mensah-stock-is-my-hero-xLaVuKlH
In-text citation:
("Why Wrestler Tamyra Mensah-Stock is My Hero.")
Works Cited entry:
"Why Wrestler Tamyra Mensah-Stock is My Hero." Kibin, 2023, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-wrestler-tamyra-mensah-stock-is-my-hero-xLaVuKlH
Footnote:
1. "Why Wrestler Tamyra Mensah-Stock is My Hero." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-wrestler-tamyra-mensah-stock-is-my-hero-xLaVuKlH.
Bibliography entry:
"Why Wrestler Tamyra Mensah-Stock is My Hero." Kibin, 2023. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-wrestler-tamyra-mensah-stock-is-my-hero-xLaVuKlH.
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